Casino Jokes

Looking for gambling jokes? Look no further. The below casino jokes will have your fellow players busting up.

Casino Joke #1: A Twice Yearly Payday

A man returns home from work to find his wife packing a suitcase.
"Where are you going?" he asks.
"I’m going to Vegas. I read that men will pay as much as $100 in cash to do what I do for you for free."
The man sits down and thinks for a second. Then he starts packing his bags, too.
Confused, she asks where he’s going.
He laughs.
"I'm going to Vegas with you. I can’t wait to see how you’re going to survive on $200 a year!”

Casino Joke #2: Keep your Eye on the Di

A croupier and a boxman are standing behind an empty craps table. A gorgeous young woman approaches the table and announces that she’d like to place a $100,000 bet on one roll of the dice.
“I have one request, though,” she tells the two men.
"If you don’t mind, I’d prefer to take my roll bottomless. I am luckier when I’m not wearing pants."
The men make no objections so she strips naked from the waist down and prepares to take her roll.
After throwing the dice she begins jumping up and down, kissing both the croupier and the boxman while shouting, "I win! I win!"
She then quickly claims her money, gets dressed and leaves. The two men stare at each other in awe.
One of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?"
The other replies, "I thought YOU were watching!"

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